I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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