Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
