remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize