What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
