He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
what day is it and did you see me today?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
