Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize