i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
