I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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