Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
