Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
