she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
