Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
