My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
