Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
PANTIES FOUND
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
