we have pet lesbian snakes
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
