That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
