Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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