census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
