lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize