Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
