I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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