...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
