Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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