I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
