He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
