just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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