I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
