I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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