I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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