I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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