I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
