vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I could fuck to npr.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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