me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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