He asked to "fluff my boner.."
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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