My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The struggles of a small town man whore
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
