that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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