He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
