marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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