woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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