is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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