hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
