plz talk dirty to me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
