so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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