if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
