After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize