after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
