Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
