I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
