I love black thongs
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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