Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize