there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
