My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Vodka?
Forever.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
