Sponge bath it is.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize