he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
