why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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