I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
