This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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