I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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