nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
