I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
