I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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