break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize