There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Dignity is for republicans.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
