It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
