There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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