Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he thought i was a dude.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize