There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
