My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
